So you’re switching things up a bit in 2017? Great plan, you’re worth it. New Year’s resolutions make up the easy first step to becoming a better person. Now, actually doing it is where it gets hard.* How can a life loving individual eat healthier, spend less money, sport harder and be a nicer person all at the same damn time? Seems impossible. Unless, of course, you use Joylent to help you.
Healthy eating is like responsible skating. It can be done, but it will definitely get boring fast. To avoid that pour some Joylent into your mouth and BOOM, you’re fed. If you play your cards right, you won’t have to eat ever again. We advice against that though, since most unhealthy food tastes awesome.
Work out more
Staying in shape is the hardest thing mankind has been trying to do since reaching the moon. Luckily, some 30 years after we set foot on luna Joylent introduced a Sport edition making it possible for the human race to stay fit with robot-like efficiency. On to Mars you guys.
Do more fun stuff
Having fun is all about not doing anything boring. Joylent gives you all nutrients without the hassle of grocery shopping, cooking and eating. Oh, and have you checked out the Twennybar? It’s a Joylent bar stuffed 20% of the daily recommended intake of everything. Stuff these tasty guys in your backpack and take it out when the fun gets you too hungry to have any more.
To get rich, all you have to do is spend less money. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Good news, it’s even easier with Joylent. Save tons of money on food, by eating the most efficient and cheap meals to ever see the face of this planet. Enjoy the taste of money.
Spend more time with friends and family
Welcome to the Joylent Psychologist Practice. Please lay down on the chaise and tell me what’s bothering you my dear. Hm… So basically you’re saying all your obligations withhold you from spending time with your family. We get a lot of that around here. As a matter of fact, we get that so often, we’ve developed a special cure for it. It’s called Joylent and it frees up unnecessary eating time. Use it and spend that time on your family. Oh, and tell you mom I said hi.
*That’s what she said.